Online Dating - Pros y Cons online dating

Pros and Cons of Online Dating

If you haven’t been dating in a while, if you’re new to dating or if you’re want to improve your skills with women, online dating can sometimes be a good stepping stone. The truth is that online dating is best used in combination with actually going out and talking to women in bars.

However, since many guys are interested in online dating these days – let’s have an honest look at the pros and cons.

Online dating wasn’t very popular before the late 1990s and early 2000s, but today it has become a much more viable option to make initial contact with women. Unlike in the past, you’ll find that there are more women who are also looking to meet their match online. It’s no longer just the homely girls who frequent the online dating sites. Many beautiful women, especially those with busy careers, are now finding that meeting someone online suits their busy lifestyle. After all, they don’t have to get dressed or deal with the noise and crowds generally associated with the club scene and they can better fit it into their schedule.

Today, there are free sites with many active members, but sometimes paying a small fee with give you access to women aren’t being flooded with messages by free users.

While you can correspond with women internationally and nationally, some sites will give you the option to search for women within a short drive from where you live. It’s a good feature, because unless you’re ready and willing to move to the other side of the world if you become serious with the woman, or you simply don’t want to have to spend a fortune traveling back and forth to date, you might want to limit your search to a girl who is relatively close to you; at least within the same state, country or region. Remember, if you’re going to have a true relationship with, or at the least, have sex with your new lady, you’re actually going to have to be in the same room. (Online sex doesn’t count for anything).

Let’s cover some of the other pros and cons.

Pros

You can target potential women not only by looks, age and location but also by common interests.

Before you even begin corresponding with the woman, there is usually some information on her available on the site that will make ‘starting a conversation’ easier.

You can talk to many women at the same time.

On the outside chance you don’t hit it off with a woman you like; you’re only a few key clicks away from your next potential conquest. No fear of rejection there.

You can determine how quickly or slowly you want to get to know the women. Although, due to the removed nature of online dating, people have a tendency to open up more quickly about themselves.

You can apply your skills of flirting online before going out into the real world to experiment.

When you finally do meet in person, you’ve already established a relationship or at least have a familiarity with each other.

Cons

Women aren’t always honest when they put up their photo. You can’t tell how recent her picture is or if it is really her. Some women feel that once you get to know them, their appearance won’t matter as much so they are deceptive about the photos they upload.

You can easily get into the bad habit of using online dating as a substitute for going out and meeting women in person.

Some sites charge a recurring fee, while others are ‘pay as you go’. You could end up spending a lot of money over the course of a year.

The so-called ‘relationship’ you build with a woman online (sometimes over months) might not match the actual relationship you have once you meet in person. Many guys report feeling worse when they rejected by an online love than if they got rejected by a woman they met briefly in a bar.

Most women use online dating to boost their self-esteem, so they are more confident when they meet guys in person. The check their online dating accounts before going out on the town to see all the adoring messages from guys (sometimes 100s of messages per day). Most guys say the same thing, “Hi, you’re beautiful – I’d like to get to know you” and boring stuff like that.

Online dating has to be one of the slowest ways to get a girlfriend when compared to just walking up to women in bars, shopping malls, etc and starting a conversation. Online dating relationships tend to take many months to build up, whereas you can get a phone number in one minute by walking up and talking to a woman in person. If you fear approaching women, watch this free video on how to overcome any fears or anxiety you might feel before walking up.

Going on a date

If you do decide to use online dating and score a date in the real world, make sure you take proper precautions so you aren’t stuck on a date with an overweight woman or a psycho chick. Choose a public place with lots of people and plan for it to be a quick initial visit such as meeting for drinks, lunch, coffee or some other arrangement that will allow you to make a graceful and speedy exit if necessary. You don’t want to spend several hours at dinner with a woman that you have no real chemistry with. On the other hand, if you’re enjoying yourself, you can always extend the time of your date.

Online dating can be a great way to meet women as long as you don’t substitute online dating for the real thing. The best way to use it is in combination with actually going out on weekends and talking to women in bars. Talking to women in bars is the fastest way to improve your conversation skills with women as well as your confidence. Women EXPECT to be approached in bars and they WANT it. You are doing them a favor by approaching and talking to them, so don’t ever feel bad about it in anyway.

Not Getting Dates? 10 Ways To Break Through Your Sex Plateaus

Not Getting Dates? 10 Ways To Break Through Your Sex Plateaus


Not sure why you’re not getting more dates?

A plateau is where it seems like you’re stuck at a certain level and you’re not really making progress. Maybe you’ve gone out a lot, but you haven’t ended up with a girl… or it seems like you’re doing the same thing again and again and you’re in this endless loop of repetition where you’re not breaking through to the next level.

Maybe you have sticking points you’re having trouble breaking.

Or maybe you’re just not sure what’s going on and you just feel stuck in a rut.

So here’s some tips I have for you to break through those plateaus.

#1. Have a no-excuses attitude.
Don’t take any bullshit and you’re going to go for the really hot girl no matter what, even taking action or saying something that seems like it would not even have a 3% chance of working, but you just force it out.

Like you see a hot woman at the grocery store and the logistics are all fucked up and you have nothing to say, but you just do it anyway even though you think your chances are 1% of getting anywhere with her.

That will force you to become that guy that always steps up and is a bad ass, and you do that enough and it will change your whole identity with it, breaking the plateau.

#2. Hit on girl after girl after girl and hustle it shamelessly.
Go for sheer volume with no ego and no excuses. That will help rewire your brain and get far more reference experiences to break through your plateau.

#3. Go out every day

Even if it’s just for 15 minutes or 20 minutes a day. That way you keep a level of momentum and you’re not constantly having to start yourself back up from zero every weekend again, and that will help you break through your plateau.

#4.Go for that Perfect 10 girl and blow them off.

So you open really hot girls, 8s, 9s, and 10s, girls that most guys would tear their right arm off to have sex with, and you open the girls, interact, and blow them off. And that’s more challenging than it sounds as these are girls that 99% of the guys will never sleep with in their lives, and you’re just tossing them aside like they’re stale bread. But what that will do is help you get past your outcomes and nervousness and it will break your plateaua.


#5.Create rules that you start living by

Like if you see a certain level of cute girl, you must just automatically approach and say hello to her, and blindly follow your rules and force yourself to open and seek solutions instead of just sitting back and rationalizing a million reasons why you couldn’t talk to the girl. All that extra experience of pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone will break your plateau.

#6. Do whatever it takes to put yourself into state.

Clapping your hands, dancing, doing silly movements, talking a loud, and start having FUN.. doing whatever it takes no matter how weird or uncomfortable it feels to get there, so that at least you’re happy even if your night sucks. But what will usually happen is that if you force yourself to build into a good state, your night will go pretty well, and doing that consistently will break your plateau.

#7. Don’t Seek Instant Gratification.

If you are looking for instant gratification in game and you’re not getting more dates, you will become frustrated.

Like you’re thinking you just want to get laid and you’re needy for a girl and game is a quick fix, then you will find yourself giving up fast.

Because, guys who are successful are out there being social with ALL girls, no matter what the girls look like, ugly or pretty, a lot of time they’re just being sociable and warming up their social muscles. And overall, they’re just building momentum, having fun, and building their state. And learning THAT skill, can take time. It takes practice.

It can take you weeks, or if you are more of a loner or socially awkward, it can take months and months of retraining your brain to actually ENJOY meeting new people and talking to new people and getting over your anxiety about it.

AND only then will you start to get laid, and it’s a more about the process of getting there that is going to be fun and enjoyable, and a challenge, but it’s the challenges in life and overcoming them that we become most proud of and look back on as accomplishments and worth doing it.

But not the sex itself. The sex itself will give you a two day high, “Yes, I got laid!!!” but then you’ll fall back into your old habits and thought patterns and the high will go away. And you may even feel a bit empty after the sex, like “Oh, that’s it? What do I do now? What do I want out of life?”

So looking for instant gratification, instant solving of your problems, you will be disappointed if you’re looking for quick fixes to your emotional state. And if that’s all that’s on your mind, you’ll just go out there, feel anxiety, not want to approach, or you do an approach and you feel like shit and then you give up, because it wasn’t an instant solution – look, don’t be in that mindset.

Instead, look at the long road and enjoying the process of transformation and trying to enjoy the girl right in front of you for the social interaction.

#8. Keep Long Term Goals

Another problem you might have when not getting more dates is just being incapable of having long term goals.

Like you get big IDEAS, but you don’t follow through for more than a few days on anything.

And this is those guys that tend to do badly at school, or they go in all directions with many ideas but with no focus. They have trouble committing to a plan and sticking with it over time.

The kind of guy that gets all excited about working out, but only goes a few times to the gym and then falls off. Or he starts a diet for a few days and falls off. Or he decides he wants to learn a new language, does it for a week, and then falls off. He plans a trip to Costa Rica for a vacation, or Las Vegas, but then doesn’t follow through.

He decides he wants to meet women, he gets excited about it, and then doesn’t follow through.

Look, you’ve got to focus and stick with an action plan for 3 months. So anything big you want to do, like travel, or find a new job, or learn a language, or lose 20 pounds of fat and gain 10 pounds of muscle, or get anywhere with women, these are BIG projects that require at least 90 days, 3 months, of commitment and focusing.

And that may mean on streamlining other things in your life, cutting out things that aren’t useful to you like games or television, or time busters like checking email 10 times a day, or cutting out bad vampire, time-sucking friendships, and streamlining your time so that you can commit for 90 days, through thick and thin.

#9. Understand Meeting Girls Is Not A High-Risk Adventure.

Another problem some guys have is just viewing the game as this high-risk adventure.

Viewing it as this arduous process of needing balls of steel and dealing with fierce shit tests and bitch shields and needing to conquer the game becoming master PUA manipulator and this is the ultimate challenge, the pinnacle of what can be mastered by man.

You know blowing the whole thing up into something more than it really is.

Look, even if you’re just a very average looking guy, as long as you smile, make eye contact, say hello, neutral tonality, accept yourself, trust in your own actions, touch the girl a little, riff and vibe, come across as generally chill and normal, and you are social with everybody like that, you’ve separated yourself from 99% of the other guys. That’s all you need to lay cute girls.

It’s not this super test of steel to do the double-flip backwards super-rama pattern that must be delivered at this exact point, and if not the girl will laugh at you, so bring your balls of steel bro.

Look, this is not a high risk adventure. 95% of cute, normal women are actually very friendly if you have the fundamentals of just smiling and being relaxed, and the voice.

So don’t blow it up into something HUGE, don’t think of it as this Mount Everest to be conquered.

Take it one day at a time, make small improvements each day, practice each day, and just like you would at the gym or learning a language. Just add another little thing each day and practice consistently, and with time it’ll be over. One day you’ll be like wow, I got this. This isn’t that hard.

#10. Be Consistent.

Conversely, a dating problem many guys have is that they’re too casual about it, they’re not consistent enough. Just going out for a few hours on a Friday night, is probably going to be really slow going.

Like if you hit the gym once a week, you can’t expect to become this muscular Adonis that girls are drooling over for his pecs.

You know, really you need to spend two hours a day three times a week, to make progress in a quick pace. And be consistent and dedicated going out. Even if you’re just standing there with your dick in your hand paralyszed by anxiety, just be consistent and go out.

Yeah, because that lack of consistency and dedication will really kill you. And ideally, 3 times a week. And even better, on 3 times a week for four hours at maybe bars and clubs just being social, and on the other days, one hour for some casual day game walkups or sleepy bar nights, just to keep the momentum going a little.

But remain consistent about it. Make it something that you ARE going to do, just like you would just take a shower in the mornings. Make it a habit.
Summing Up…

So, choosing some of those, or ideally doing ALL of them will bust through a plateau pretty quickly and get you more dates because they all involve pushing yourself beyond your normal comfort zone, and that’s generally the reason that plateaus happen… because you’re not really pushing yourself, and you’re stuck at a certain level of comfort of just doing what you’ve always been doing before, and that’s why you don’t really break through to the next level.

And remember, everyone gets stuck, that happens, it can happen quite often, and it often means you’ve got to take some massive action of this kind of level if you want to break the plateau quickly.