10 Tips To Get One Night Sands With Young Girls In Bars And Clubs
Here’s 10 awesome tips to increase the number of one night stands you’re getting.
Tip #1 – Let Go Of Judging Women
Let go of judging women. Just let go of it. There are no tens. There are no nines. There are no eights. There are no sevens. Just women talking, women dancing, women being women in the background of your musical kaleidoscope of many colors as you smile of the wide smile. They’re just there as part of the show, part of your movie. But you don’t judge them. You don’t rank them. It’s not that important.
Tip #2 – Drop Your “A – Game”
Drop all game. Clear your mind of all canned routines, all canned pick up lines, and all tactics. No game at all. Just relax, smile and let everything go.
Tip #3 – Quit Thinking Ahead
If you want more one night sands, quit thinking ahead. Be dumb. Be a moron. Like a dumb little kid who can’t plan ahead. But be like a child who’s fascinated by music and colors. Being like a child who’s fascinated with his own self amusement. Your head should have nothing, and your body should have a good feeling watching your own movie and smiling ear to ear.
Tip #4 – Relinquish Control
Relinquish control. Just let it go. Don’t try to control anything in the environment. Don’t try to control getting indicators of interest. Don’t try to control how you look. Don’t try to control how you come across to anyone. Don’t try to control your emotions. Don’t try to control your fun. Don’t try to control the situation in any way.
Just trust. Trust that by standing there like a champ, that by smiling, and that by watching the fun of the kaleidoscope, that this ease your purpose and that’s all you need to do. Nothing more needs to be done. So just relax into the exercise and nothing more. Just let everything else go and relax.
Tip #5 – Drop Perfection
If you want one night stands, drop perfection. Just relax. Embrace all of your faults, whether you’re fat or skinny, or broke, or balding, or you don’t feel you’re an awesome conversationalist, or whatever it is. Just accept and embrace all of your imperfections and let go of it all and don’t try to fix anything. As long as you smile and stand like a champ that’s all you need to do. That’s perfect as it is.
Tip #6 – Let go of Negative thoughts
And if you have any negative thoughts, let them go. That’s something you’re choosing and you can choose otherwise.
That which is passed, has passed. Don’t bother about it. Don’t carry it as a burden. Otherwise the past will come into the present and destroy all the fun.
To give attention to the past, or to resist the current moment, or to think negative thoughts, is to play with the wound. And when you play with the wound it starts to bleed.
In the past and negative thoughts corrupts you because he gives you expectations. You become thoughtful, but not fun. You become cunning, but you’re not intelligent.
In memory is a dead thing. Memory is not the truth and cannot ever be the truth, because the truth is always in the present. The truth is the kaleidoscope. Memory is only the persistence of that which is no more. Everything he know of the past is already gone. It is part of the graveyard.
So if you have any negative thoughts at all just relax and let them go. Again, that’s something you’re choosing and you can choose otherwise. Just relax, let go, enjoy the show, smile, and stand like a champ, and you’re golden.
Tip #7 – Don’t Resist The Situation
And don’t resist the situation. Go with the flow. Everything is cool and fun to you, you’re just enjoying the music and the lights and the show. It doesn’t matter how loud the music is. It doesn’t matter what kind of people are there. It doesn’t matter what time it is. None of these small details matter.
Don’t go against the current of existence. Don’t be that guy going upstream fighting the river. Nothing that exists is against you.
Just have a total acceptance of what is in front of the. Accept the moment you are in. Accept the moment of what’s happening right now and enjoy it. It just is what it is.
No girls there? Just laugh and watch the colors. Someone bumps into you? Just laugh and watch the colors. You’re tired? Just laugh and watch the colors.
Simply enjoy being there. The moment is enough and you’re not going anywhere. Be present and be in the moment. Like that child.
Tip #8 – Don’t Seek Her Permission
And this is the most difficult. And that’s to drop all permission seeking. You have permission to stand like a champ. You have permission to have a huge dumb smile on your face. A big smile from ear to ear. You have permission to have your own fun.
So stop caring about what other people think. That’s permission seeking. And just funking do the exercise. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, and it very well may. Just keep on smiling in your mind will naturally let go of the permission seeking and naturally free itself all on its own.
And remember, you’re not doing this to impress anyone. You’re not smiling to attract the girls. You’re not standing like a champ to get indicators of interest. So don’t be looking for any indicators of interest. Don’t be looking to see if any girls are looking your way. You’re not doing this to make them like you. You’re not doing this to make them except you. This exercise is for you and your mental health alone.
Tip #9 – Drop Your Rules For Being Happy And Having Fun
So you want to meet girls for one night sands. But I mean why not, for no reason, just feel happy right now? What’s stopping you?
No matter where you are, you can generate a cheeky happy smile inside in under a second, no matter what you’re doing. You can create fun from absolutely nothing. You can create loads of fun just by amusing yourself.
You see we have too many rules about when we can feel happy. The conventional thinking goes, “well, when I’m in my sweet spot, yet I can be happy, but when the rest of my life occurs, I have to be normal.”
More people think, they have this rule, “I can be happy, but only when I’m talking to girls.” Or they think, “I can be happy only when I have the approval of girls. They’re laughing at my jokes.”
So we live in a results oriented, goal oriented, desirous, grasping framework where we think, “things should be like XY and Z. and then, and only then, will I be happy. If they are not like exactly XY and Z. then I’m going to be normal are unhappy.”
But here’s the thing. Girls are attracted to positive guys who aren’t dependent on a girl to make them happy. Women want a guy who is positive on his own. After all you don’t want to meet a girl that’s depressed all the time, or just feels blah, unless you’re making her laugh. You want to meet a woman who is perpetually bubbly and positive and happy most of the time. That’s a quality that you want in a quality woman.
And being positive yourself is a prime contractor to women, and the foundation to being able to take action. So you should be able to be happy and positive alone and even for no reason, and not just when you get approval or positive reaction from girls.
Yes, you can feel fun and joy without a hot girl on your arm and without even speaking to anyone. It may seem impossible — how can you feel the party vibe and be smiling and happy and excited at a social party without having girls or friends to talk to?
Then again, you can play sports without a bench of cheering fans can’t you?
You can sing while walking down the street without an audience, can’t you?
So why can’t you enjoy yourself at a party having your own fun, without the attention of a girl?
Look, there’s no reason you can’t be sitting alone in a room and not be radiating a great positive energy, feeling happy, for no particular reason.
The lesson is this — you should always be able to draw state from within yourself and not have to rely on the ever changing external environment to get your positive emotions. Because in a bar or club, or on the street, you could be talking and having a great conversation one moment, and the next moment you’re all by yourself. And if you’re drawing your state from the external environment, that’s going to be one hell of a roller coaster of constant ups and downs.
So you have to be the source of your own good emotions, regardless of what’s going on around you. You always remain positive under any circumstances, you always remain feeling happy and smiling. And you don’t change your state for anyone or anything.
Tip #10 – Drop Your Agenda And Stop Being Outcome-Dependent
You have to drop your agendas. You’re not out there to find your dream girl for. You’re not out there to get your Dick wet, even for a one night sand. You’re not out there to get indicators of interest or to be looking for approval from girls.
Because when you go out there with that based agendas, that’s how you kill the fun. When you go out there desiring, grasping, living in the future, a future which is a real, future which just leaves in your imagination, that comes into the present fun of the moment and destroys it. And you can’t enjoy the present moment where the party in the fun actually lives.
That desiring grasping mind burdens you. It disturbs you. And the thought-based mind is always wavering. it’s always doubting.
So he don’t want an agenda based, desiring mind. No, you have a kaleidoscope mind, a mind like a child’s, a child who giggles and laughs when an adult place peekaboo with them.
No agendas, you have no thoughts, you just let go and relax and enjoy a the color show, you enjoyed the music show. And you stand there tall like a champ with a big smile on your face, and just having loads of fun with it. Completely in the present moment.
And that’s called detaching from the outcome. And when your goal, when your outcome, is not in the future, when there is nothing to be achieved, when your only mission is to celebrate within the psychedelic pretty colors of the kaleidoscope and the music, you have already achieved just by being in the present moment. That is exactly what allows general anxiety to melt away because you’re no longer living in the future, you just surrender yourself to the present moment. And that’s where relaxation comes. That’s where the fun comes.
Because tension only arises when you are chasing something. Tension only arises when you are assuming were expecting something. Where is relaxation and fun arises when you are simply allowing something in the immediate present to happen like watching the kaleidoscope.
Neither the past nor the future exists. All you have in your hands use the present. And when you live in the present unburdened by the past, unburdened by future agendas, that’s when you can smile and lived in the music and have fun – AND the one night stands will come to you.
When you abandon all expectations, when you abandon all grasping, when you abandon all resistance to the present moment, you will have fun.
That doesn’t mean you stop moving. But the moving will be toward a future, exactly. The moving will be as series of nows, each with a direction, but not so attached to a destination that the fun and beauty of the present moment is lost. You just let each moment of enjoying the miraculous dancing colors of the kaleidoscope to be as fun and as for filling and as ordinary as the next. And the one night sands with cute girls will come.
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Showing posts with label clubs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clubs. Show all posts
Friday, July 6, 2012
Not Getting Dates? 10 Ways To Break Through Your Sex Plateaus
Not Getting Dates? 10 Ways To Break Through Your Sex Plateaus
Not sure why you’re not getting more dates?
A plateau is where it seems like you’re stuck at a certain level and you’re not really making progress. Maybe you’ve gone out a lot, but you haven’t ended up with a girl… or it seems like you’re doing the same thing again and again and you’re in this endless loop of repetition where you’re not breaking through to the next level.
Maybe you have sticking points you’re having trouble breaking.
Or maybe you’re just not sure what’s going on and you just feel stuck in a rut.
So here’s some tips I have for you to break through those plateaus.
#1. Have a no-excuses attitude.
Don’t take any bullshit and you’re going to go for the really hot girl no matter what, even taking action or saying something that seems like it would not even have a 3% chance of working, but you just force it out.
Like you see a hot woman at the grocery store and the logistics are all fucked up and you have nothing to say, but you just do it anyway even though you think your chances are 1% of getting anywhere with her.
That will force you to become that guy that always steps up and is a bad ass, and you do that enough and it will change your whole identity with it, breaking the plateau.
#2. Hit on girl after girl after girl and hustle it shamelessly.
Go for sheer volume with no ego and no excuses. That will help rewire your brain and get far more reference experiences to break through your plateau.
#3. Go out every day
Even if it’s just for 15 minutes or 20 minutes a day. That way you keep a level of momentum and you’re not constantly having to start yourself back up from zero every weekend again, and that will help you break through your plateau.
#4.Go for that Perfect 10 girl and blow them off.
So you open really hot girls, 8s, 9s, and 10s, girls that most guys would tear their right arm off to have sex with, and you open the girls, interact, and blow them off. And that’s more challenging than it sounds as these are girls that 99% of the guys will never sleep with in their lives, and you’re just tossing them aside like they’re stale bread. But what that will do is help you get past your outcomes and nervousness and it will break your plateaua.
#5.Create rules that you start living by
Like if you see a certain level of cute girl, you must just automatically approach and say hello to her, and blindly follow your rules and force yourself to open and seek solutions instead of just sitting back and rationalizing a million reasons why you couldn’t talk to the girl. All that extra experience of pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone will break your plateau.
#6. Do whatever it takes to put yourself into state.
Clapping your hands, dancing, doing silly movements, talking a loud, and start having FUN.. doing whatever it takes no matter how weird or uncomfortable it feels to get there, so that at least you’re happy even if your night sucks. But what will usually happen is that if you force yourself to build into a good state, your night will go pretty well, and doing that consistently will break your plateau.
#7. Don’t Seek Instant Gratification.
If you are looking for instant gratification in game and you’re not getting more dates, you will become frustrated.
Like you’re thinking you just want to get laid and you’re needy for a girl and game is a quick fix, then you will find yourself giving up fast.
Because, guys who are successful are out there being social with ALL girls, no matter what the girls look like, ugly or pretty, a lot of time they’re just being sociable and warming up their social muscles. And overall, they’re just building momentum, having fun, and building their state. And learning THAT skill, can take time. It takes practice.
It can take you weeks, or if you are more of a loner or socially awkward, it can take months and months of retraining your brain to actually ENJOY meeting new people and talking to new people and getting over your anxiety about it.
AND only then will you start to get laid, and it’s a more about the process of getting there that is going to be fun and enjoyable, and a challenge, but it’s the challenges in life and overcoming them that we become most proud of and look back on as accomplishments and worth doing it.
But not the sex itself. The sex itself will give you a two day high, “Yes, I got laid!!!” but then you’ll fall back into your old habits and thought patterns and the high will go away. And you may even feel a bit empty after the sex, like “Oh, that’s it? What do I do now? What do I want out of life?”
So looking for instant gratification, instant solving of your problems, you will be disappointed if you’re looking for quick fixes to your emotional state. And if that’s all that’s on your mind, you’ll just go out there, feel anxiety, not want to approach, or you do an approach and you feel like shit and then you give up, because it wasn’t an instant solution – look, don’t be in that mindset.
Instead, look at the long road and enjoying the process of transformation and trying to enjoy the girl right in front of you for the social interaction.
#8. Keep Long Term Goals
Another problem you might have when not getting more dates is just being incapable of having long term goals.
Like you get big IDEAS, but you don’t follow through for more than a few days on anything.
And this is those guys that tend to do badly at school, or they go in all directions with many ideas but with no focus. They have trouble committing to a plan and sticking with it over time.
The kind of guy that gets all excited about working out, but only goes a few times to the gym and then falls off. Or he starts a diet for a few days and falls off. Or he decides he wants to learn a new language, does it for a week, and then falls off. He plans a trip to Costa Rica for a vacation, or Las Vegas, but then doesn’t follow through.
He decides he wants to meet women, he gets excited about it, and then doesn’t follow through.
Look, you’ve got to focus and stick with an action plan for 3 months. So anything big you want to do, like travel, or find a new job, or learn a language, or lose 20 pounds of fat and gain 10 pounds of muscle, or get anywhere with women, these are BIG projects that require at least 90 days, 3 months, of commitment and focusing.
And that may mean on streamlining other things in your life, cutting out things that aren’t useful to you like games or television, or time busters like checking email 10 times a day, or cutting out bad vampire, time-sucking friendships, and streamlining your time so that you can commit for 90 days, through thick and thin.
#9. Understand Meeting Girls Is Not A High-Risk Adventure.
Another problem some guys have is just viewing the game as this high-risk adventure.
Viewing it as this arduous process of needing balls of steel and dealing with fierce shit tests and bitch shields and needing to conquer the game becoming master PUA manipulator and this is the ultimate challenge, the pinnacle of what can be mastered by man.
You know blowing the whole thing up into something more than it really is.
Look, even if you’re just a very average looking guy, as long as you smile, make eye contact, say hello, neutral tonality, accept yourself, trust in your own actions, touch the girl a little, riff and vibe, come across as generally chill and normal, and you are social with everybody like that, you’ve separated yourself from 99% of the other guys. That’s all you need to lay cute girls.
It’s not this super test of steel to do the double-flip backwards super-rama pattern that must be delivered at this exact point, and if not the girl will laugh at you, so bring your balls of steel bro.
Look, this is not a high risk adventure. 95% of cute, normal women are actually very friendly if you have the fundamentals of just smiling and being relaxed, and the voice.
So don’t blow it up into something HUGE, don’t think of it as this Mount Everest to be conquered.
Take it one day at a time, make small improvements each day, practice each day, and just like you would at the gym or learning a language. Just add another little thing each day and practice consistently, and with time it’ll be over. One day you’ll be like wow, I got this. This isn’t that hard.
#10. Be Consistent.
Conversely, a dating problem many guys have is that they’re too casual about it, they’re not consistent enough. Just going out for a few hours on a Friday night, is probably going to be really slow going.
Like if you hit the gym once a week, you can’t expect to become this muscular Adonis that girls are drooling over for his pecs.
You know, really you need to spend two hours a day three times a week, to make progress in a quick pace. And be consistent and dedicated going out. Even if you’re just standing there with your dick in your hand paralyszed by anxiety, just be consistent and go out.
Yeah, because that lack of consistency and dedication will really kill you. And ideally, 3 times a week. And even better, on 3 times a week for four hours at maybe bars and clubs just being social, and on the other days, one hour for some casual day game walkups or sleepy bar nights, just to keep the momentum going a little.
But remain consistent about it. Make it something that you ARE going to do, just like you would just take a shower in the mornings. Make it a habit.
Summing Up…
So, choosing some of those, or ideally doing ALL of them will bust through a plateau pretty quickly and get you more dates because they all involve pushing yourself beyond your normal comfort zone, and that’s generally the reason that plateaus happen… because you’re not really pushing yourself, and you’re stuck at a certain level of comfort of just doing what you’ve always been doing before, and that’s why you don’t really break through to the next level.
And remember, everyone gets stuck, that happens, it can happen quite often, and it often means you’ve got to take some massive action of this kind of level if you want to break the plateau quickly.
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